Regency Metallic

Apparently, I have to repaint the whole wall in the dinning room if I want that little sliver at the top to blend in. Damn you Ralph Lauren and your metallic paint too.

I HATE to paint rooms. Hate it. Not just a little. I can't even procrastinate about it because the molding will be installed Monday or Tuesday, from what I've been told.

Is it bad that I'm seriously thinking that I don't care enough to repaint that wall? Of course I will, or I'll end up doing it later around the molding...

On the up side - I'm going to have lunch with Patness today and today is Friday which means mr Bear will be mine all day tomorrow.

Just Finish Something

When I start to feel overwhelmed or like I can't get anything accomplished there's only one thing to do - fall back, regroup and do what I can to finish something. Once that first thing is completed momentum will carry me a great way forward.

I cleaned our stove top. It wasn't really dirty but it had a few smudges on it. I put away my stack of "bring downstairs" stuff. I moved the chairs out of the dinning room and get the drop cloth set up to start painting. I shaved for the first time since Christmas. Small steps along the path. SARK calls them "micro-movements" and as cheesy as it sounds they work for me when I get freaked out.

I spoke to Mr Bear and he said not to bother repainting as it's not that noticeable but he did suggest maybe rolling that part in the hopes it'll be less noticeable. He saw what the wall looked like with the molding held up (I was standing on the step ladder holding it) so I trust his judgment. Home Depot had a "trim roller" for the finish so I went and got it and now that's done.

I also went to the back to deposit my unemployment check - that's all sorted now too. My anxiety is seeping back out of me. There is still a bunch of things I have to sort out but they no longer feel like a huge wave bearing down on me.

A lot of people would say "none of this stuff really matters" and I know that. It's hard to explain how I can know something intellectually but still negate it with the rest of me. I guess that's where the phrase "I'm of two minds about it" comes from.

Anyway, all is right in my world at the moment. I'm going to hop on the treadmill for a bit and watch "War of the Worlds".

Things I Am Grateful For
Knowing myself and how to stop the spiral before it gets too far
Mr. Bear's absurd insistence that his TIVOing "Ice Diaries" was not as gay as my TIVOing "Beyond the Bull"
The weird dance Tess does to wash her face
Heat
Gay books
Public Libraries that lend DVDs (they all do but it rocks)
The fluidity of possession amoung my nieces and nephew
Mermaids and Mermen (I'm going through a phase)
Gift cards to book stores
Being out

Things I Want Today
A papaya drink from Gray's Papaya
A facial