Why again do I sat here late on school days to make the time? I have no work to do....
Today is one of those days where I don't feel very grateful for my life. Not all of it, mostly the work part. I'm lucky to have a decent paying job that doens't involve a lot of work. I know that, but I'm bored and tired of working hard on things to spend the following year watching them fall apart.
The trouble is I don't know what i want to do next - teach or more computer stuff or something else (What?). Teaching is great in theory but I now the reality can be a little rough. I'd want to teach young kids - k-3. I love kids. They're so open and curious.
I like computers. I'm decent at it. It'd pay a lot more and I'd like what I did except at some point I'd have to manage people. I dread that. Sometimes I think that's a stupid hurdle to put in my own way. I might be good at it. Either way I'd have to deal with politics and personal dynamics and control. Really, it's sort of a crap shoot that way.
Teaching does offer me a lot more free time to explore art type stuff. And it'd be easier for us to have kids. the real hold up is that I'm afraid of the disparity in our income. Mr Bear doesn't care and says I should do whatever I really want to. It bothers me that I can't pay half of everything. I'll probably never catch up to him salary wise, but teaching would definitely widen that gap.
So, I'm trying to think what I would do if the path was totally open. If it was just me with nothing weighing the decision but making ends meet and being happy. I'll have to get over something no matter which way I go. I'm coping the "blank slate" approach will make my happiness the ultimate deciding factor.
I have about half a semester to figure it out. then I need ot start registering, etc. for the summer...
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