Time, Looks What Become of Me

Life seems to be moving rather quickly lately. The day seems to end before I have a chance to gather my thoughts. Last night I studied PreCalc, balanced my checkbook and watched "Southpark". Then it was suddenly time for bed. I'm coming due for a few days off to get "my wig on straight" - a few days of studio time and spring cleaning.

I have an insane list of house things I want to get done before the party, but little of it seems doable in the three weeks I have with finals and all. I feel old. It's one of the few things that makes me feel old - the lack of time or, maybe more accurately, the lack of free time.

The reality of it is that I need to be better at making time for myself a priority - as well as be more realistic in what I want to accomplish. No one is going to die if the patio isn't in before the party.

I don't like the disorder that results from how busy our lives are. My idea of housekeeping comes from an era when the housewife stayed home and had all day to do it. It's not realistic, but it's the way I think we should live. Most of the time I'm able to come close enough to be content, but throw in a little illness or something else and it's "game over".

That isn't to say I feel pressured to behave this way. Mr Bear doesn't care as much if the house is vacuumed or if there are fresh flowers on the table. He's more of the "clean enough" sort.

Life would be easier if my commute wasn't so long.

OK, enough complaining. I have some work to do and some studying...


Things I Am Grateful For
Mr Bear's sense of humor
Waking up in his arms
Darla talking to me while I'm getting dressed this morning because she wants to go out
Bagels with cream cheese
The green of spring grass
Having Enough

Things I Want Today
Raspberry Sorbet
Time off
Pajamas
An hour in the studio
A haircut

Addendum

I would like to add "Red Delicious Apples" to the list of Things I am Grateful For.

(no subject)

OK People, I'm sick, cranky and BORED.

BE ENTERTAINING.

the breeze in my window

My stomach seems to have calmed down. I'm doing laundry and procrastinating studying PreCalc.

All the windows in the house are open and the air is sweet and moist from the wet lands and the river - both unusually high. I took the dogs for a walk before and the grass is that amazing green it is for only a week or two a year. It seems new and freshly scrubbed.

This is my favorite time of year - some of the trees are in flower and the first bulbs are in full bloom. Green seems to poke out everywhere and you have this sense that things will be alright - better than alright really. A sense that things will be good.

Spring is the most optimistic time of the year for me. I feel as though the world is changing and for the good. It's easy for me to surrender my need to control things in the spring because I have an innate trust that, if left alone, nature will produce miracles. I think it's the gardner in me, or the anti gardner, that says "give it a place and let it take it's proper shape". All we can provide anything is love, light and room to grow.

OK, time for studying.